


The Last Eisner

by NameForsaken



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Crimson Flower Route, F/F, Flashbacks, Gen, MtF Transgender, also byleth is trans, everything's the same except byleth had a twin, transgender character, twins au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:15:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25521955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NameForsaken/pseuds/NameForsaken
Summary: Byleth is finally ready to talk about one of the biggest losses in her life. Edelgard is ready to listen. Together, they plan to take down Rhea and uncover her twisted schemes, so that at last, Byleth can mourn the ones she's lost in peace.
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28





	1. Prologue

_“To think that the first time I saw you cry… your tears would be for me.”_

Byleth shivered in the darkness of her father’s room, pulling her cloak tightly around her as she buried her chin. His voice had been haunting her for days, the image of his weak smile as he took his last breaths permanently burned into her brain. No matter how hard she tried to fight against them, the tears would not stop flowing. She hadn’t been able to face her students since she’d returned from the cathedral ruins, and even now, she wasn’t certain she would be able to muster up the strength and courage to lead them again. 

Never had Byleth cried so much in her entire life. Never had she felt so much pain, so much despair, so much… _anything_. And she was really starting to get sick of it. 

A knock sounded at the door, but Byleth ignored it. Instead, she curled her knees into her chest, hoping whoever it was would take the hint and go away. Maybe, she thought with a bitter grunt, if she made herself small enough, she would eventually just disappear. 

_It doesn’t work that way,_ a familiar voice told her from the back of her mind. Byleth groaned, wishing for once she didn’t have to share a headspace with a snarky, several-millennia-old child. 

The door opened and Edelgard stepped inside, a distraught look on her face at the sight of her teacher. “You’re here again…”

Byleth lowered her legs, sitting up in her father’s chair. It was the most she could do to make herself presentable for her student. 

Edelgard walked toward the desk, her brows furrowing as she drew closer. “Professor… You’ve been crying. So even you cry sometimes.”

She blinked, the young house leader’s comment taking her off-guard. She lifted a hand to wipe her tears, somewhat grateful that the puffiness of her cheeks managed to conceal her embarrassment. 

“Oh…” Edelgard’s own cheeks became rosy, her violet eyes turning downward toward the floorboards. “I suppose that was thoughtless of me to say.”

 _Yes, it was,_ Byleth wanted to respond, but she was in no mood for correcting her. Until she had come to Garreg Mach, Byleth had been very closed-off from most of her emotions, believing them to only get in the way of important matters. But it was Edelgard herself who had taught Byleth that there could be strength in vulnerability, and since she began teaching the Black Eagles house almost a year ago, she had found the walls she’d built around her heart slowly coming down. 

“It’s fine,” Byleth murmured, her voice cracking through her words. She silently cursed herself for how weak she sounded right then, but there was nothing to be done about it. 

Edelgard finally cleared the rest of the distance between them, daring to step behind the desk that Byleth had been hiding behind since her father’s death. “My teacher. You’re so blinded by grief that you can’t see what’s going on right in front of you.” She sighed. “Are you waiting for time to heal your wounds? Or have you curled up in a corner and lost the will to carry on?”

Byleth visibly flinched at the bite in her last accusation, wondering where all of this was coming from. “How could you ask me something like that?”

Her eyes widened. “It’s not like you to speak to me like that. You know I’d never ask you a question without purpose.” She hesitated for a moment before resting a hand on the arm of Byleth’s chair. “Only you can understand your own sadness. Others can sympathize or even empathize, but all anyone else can offer are the tears of an outsider looking in.” 

She withdrew her hand, and Byleth lowered her gaze, the chair suddenly feeling so much colder without Edelgard’s presence. The Adrestian heir may not have had the best way with words, but even Byleth recognized that they were coming from a good place. 

“So I have no intention of crying for you, or of standing still with you.” Edelgard offered her teacher a smile. “All I can do is promise to reach out my hand when the time comes for me to move forward.”

Byleth narrowed her eyes, the last of her comments seeming to hint at something more pressing on her mind. “What do you mean?”

Edelgard nodded. “The mysterious organization that was carrying out experiments in Remire Village and the chapel… They’re up to something near Garreg Mach. The archbishop has sent the knights to undertake a large-scale investigation. No information has surfaced yet, but our enemies will soon be discovered.”

 _Right._ Byleth had been so upset over the past several days that she hadn’t actually taken the time to process the _cause_ of her father’s death. He had, quite literally, been stabbed in the back by Monica, a student-in-disguise who was working for an evil much darker than any Byleth had ever encountered. Her focus _should’ve_ been on trying to stop them; she would have time to grieve for her father later, after they took down their enemies for good. 

“When they are,” Edelgard continued, her expression becoming more stern, “will you lead us into battle? Or will you just sit here with no thought for the future that is fast approaching?”

 _I’m trying_ , she wanted to shout, wishing she could mute her student’s voice. She needed to think, she needed to clear her mind. But there was still so much Edelgard didn’t understand, so much Byleth wanted to tell her. It wasn’t just about Jeralt, and it wasn’t about Monica, either. Byleth squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block it all out. 

“My teacher… There is a choice to be made.” Edelgard started to move, her footsteps soft and slow. She wanted Byleth to reach out just as much as Byleth wanted to reach out to her. Edelgard had confided in her about so much pain, so much loss… If there was anyone who would understand, it was her. “I hope you make the right one.”

Byleth opened her eyes just as Edelgard turned her back, watching as the young house leader quietly walked away. She made it to the door before Byleth finally found the strength to stand and speak up. “Edelgard. Wait.”

Edelgard froze, but she didn’t turn around. Byleth knew she was purposely keeping herself on the offensive; she had more important things to do than argue with her self-pitying teacher. 

“I… I know it seems like I’ve forgotten the mission, but I haven’t.” Byleth stumbled around the desk, her balance off from having sat curled up for so long. She forced down her palm on the edge of the desk, steeling herself. “I just… I need you to understand, I’m not—I’m not very good at dealing with these kinds of emotions.”

“I’m sorry, Professor, but that’s not my problem.” 

She gritted her teeth, shaking her head. “That’s not—what I mean is that… it’s not the first time something like this has happened. But I didn’t have the chance to grieve before; I didn’t know how.”

Edelgard lifted her head, turning just enough to meet Byleth’s gaze. “What is this about?”

“Before I came to Garreg Mach, I lost someone else.” Byleth drew in a deep breath. Her father had told her to never speak of this again, but if she didn’t now, she would never be able to move on. “It was almost exactly a year ago, actually… His name was Vitus.”

Her student turned fully, now, her curiosity piqued. 

“He was my twin brother.”


	2. The Real Byleth

The late afternoon breeze sent a mild chill up Byleth’s back as she looked out across the garden. Hues of pink and purple mixed with orange in the sky above as the early winter sun began to set. Not a single student or knight was around as Byleth sat hunched over a small tea table in the gazebo, waiting for Edelgard to arrive. 

She still wasn’t sure this was the safest of places to be discussing something so private, but Edelgard had requested that Byleth at least try to get some sun. After she’d opened up to the house leader about her late brother, Byleth instantly regretted it, but now that the truth was out there, she needed to make absolute sure that her student would guard her secret. It had been so long since Byleth had been able to say his name, and now, Edelgard was the only other living person — aside from the mercenaries who had once traveled with Jeralt’s company — who knew about his existence. 

_Are you sure you’re comfortable talking about this?_ Sothis pestered Byleth as she continued to wait. And, of course, there was Sothis. But so long as Sothis remained inside of Byleth’s mind, she didn’t exactly have to worry about the green-haired entity letting anything important slip. 

“I have no choice,” Byleth whispered, lowering her gaze. She stared into her teacup, the untouched chamomile having already gone cold. “But maybe having someone else to talk to will help me focus again.”

_Is that what this is about? Or are you hoping she’ll help you track down his ki—?_

Byleth blocked out the end of Sothis’s question, eyes closing as she forced herself to push the thought from her mind. Sometimes she really hated that Sothis could read her every thought; very rarely was she able to think in peace without Sothis digging deep inside and bringing up subjects that were still too sore to touch on. 

“Professor… are you alright?”

She opened her eyes at the sound of her student’s voice, raising her head just as Edelgard took a seat. “I was just thinking.”

“Right.” Edelgard poured herself a cup of tea, taking a sip before returning her attention to her teacher. “I hope you weren’t waiting too long. I had some important business to go over with Hubert.”

“I just got here myself,” Byleth lied, finally taking a sip of her own tea. The cold liquid went down her throat like lead, and it took all her willpower not to spit it back up. “Is there anything I should be concerned about?”

Edelgard shook her head. “No, no, just boring Imperial relations business. Nothing too pressing.” Something about the way she so casually brushed off the subject didn’t sit right with Byleth, but she didn’t question it as Edelgard continued. “We’re here to talk about you, anyway. What you told me this morning, was that really true? Or were you simply stalling?”

Byleth let out a deep breath. “It’s true. But I trust you to keep this between the two of us. Is that something you’re willing to do?”

“Of course, Professor.” She lowered her gaze to the table, and Byleth took it as an opportunity to quickly dump her tea. “I told you about my family in confidence. I have no intention of breaking your trust, just as I trust you not to break mine.”

“Good. Thank you.” Byleth refilled her cup with fresh tea, inhaling its warmth. She glanced up at Edelgard, brows furrowed. “...How do you start talking about these things?”

Her student gave her a small smile. “Well, why don’t we start with something easy? You said he was your twin, right?”

She nodded. “He was born a few minutes before me, or at least according to our father. He never did keep our birth records…” _For good reason,_ she thought, but didn’t say aloud, not yet ready to divulge that kind of information. Just after her father’s death, Byleth had stumbled upon a journal Jeralt had left behind, detailing the many dark secrets that surrounded Byleth’s birth. He had purposely omitted anything about her brother’s existence, though Byleth was still trying to figure out why. “But yes, we were twins. Identical, actually.”

Edelgard narrowed her eyes. “Are you sure you don’t mean fraternal?”

“No, I mean identical.” Byleth took a sip of her tea, wishing for a moment that she had something a little stronger. She had never been much of a drinker, but a little liquid courage certainly would have helped make this next explanation a little easier. “I haven’t told anyone this before, but... I was born in a different body than most baby girls.”

“Assuming you’re telling the truth about being identical, then that means…” Edelgard’s eyes widened, and Byleth could practically see the dots connecting inside her mind. After the initial shock had passed, she cleared her throat. “So how did you figure out that you’re… you?”

Byleth hummed. “Well… I guess I’ve kind of always known.” She let out a gentle huff, allowing her mind to wander…

* * *

“I think I’m a girl.”

Byleth had been laying in bed all night, eyes glued to the ceiling as her mind whirred with several different thoughts and images. 

Across the room, she heard the sound of shifting as her brother turned to face her. “Bylie, go back to sleep…”

“But I’m serious. I don’t know what it is, I just have this feeling I’m supposed to be a girl.” She turned to face her twin. “Is that weird, Vi?”

Vitus yawned, pushing aside his covers as he sat up in bed. Byleth could barely make out his features through the dark, but she could tell all he wanted was to go back to sleep. “It’s not weird… At least I don’t think it is.”

He went quiet for a moment, and Byleth was about to turn away when he spoke up again. 

“Actually… I’ve kind of always wanted a sister.”

She blinked, pushing herself up. “Really? And you never told me?”

“I didn’t think it was important.” He glanced over toward the door where the sound of heavy boots could be heard shuffling across the floor. “You should probably tell Dad, though.”

Byleth followed his gaze, her brows furrowing in hesitation. Their father had always been a kind man, and he’d never asked much from the twins. But a part of her couldn’t help but worry that he wouldn’t understand, or that he’d try to make her talk about it, and she still wasn’t sure she understood it herself. All she knew was what she felt, and she just couldn’t explain why. “Do you think he’ll be okay with it?”

Vitus shrugged. “I don’t see why not.” He turned back to her, his eyes beginning to droop in exhaustion. “If you want, I can tell him for you.”

“No, I’ll do it,” Byleth answered quickly, not wanting to risk her brother saying the wrong thing. Was there even a _right_ way to tell someone something like this in the first place? She laid back down, her mind still reeling. She wondered what it would be like to be a girl, if anything about her life would suddenly change. Now that she thought about it, she didn’t actually know any little girls. Vitus was probably the only other child she even knew at all. 

Growing up in a traveling mercenary troop certainly proved to be an interesting way of life, but it had never exactly been a safe place for someone to raise a child. Although Byleth had been getting a lot better with her sword training, her father knew better than to ever take her or Vitus with him on a job. Usually, they would remain behind in whatever village they’d be staying, under the watch of whatever mercenaries weren’t on duty that night. Even the village children were warned to keep their distance from the twins, and Byleth and Vitus were often left watching from afar. 

The women in their troop weren’t so different from the men, at least from what Byleth could tell. When they weren’t fighting or tracking down thieves, they spent their nights just like everyone else in their troop, drinking and laughing and planning out their next route. They were just as tough, just as lively, and they were certainly just as loud. So if the women weren’t so different from the men, then why did Byleth feel such a strong desire to someday be one?

“What do you think girls are like?” she asked after a while, unsure if her brother was even still awake. 

“Mm?” Vitus mumbled, much to Byleth’s surprise. “I guess they’re like boys… except they get boobs when they’re older.”

“Oh.” Byleth glanced down at her chest, folding her hands over the flat surface. “Do you think I’ll have boobs when I’m older?”

He glanced over at Byleth. “Do you want boobs?”

She stared down at her hands, a strange empty feeling welling up inside of her. It wasn’t like the other “empty” feelings she often experienced, the ones where she felt numb to most of the world around her. This one felt hollow, almost painful, like a longing for something that just wasn’t there. All she could do was nod at her brother, words seeming to fail her. 

“Then I’m sure you can find a way to get them.”

Vitus’s answer was simple, pragmatic, stated as an absolute fact. And while Byleth had difficulty figuring out exactly how she would make that happen, somehow, she believed he was telling the truth. One day, she _would_ get the kind of body she wanted, and she would become the woman she knew deep inside that she was meant to be. 

The next morning, their father awoke them for an early jog around the house, Vitus falling behind as usual. Byleth managed to keep her pace alongside her father, her conversation from the night before filling her with a determination she hadn’t quite felt before. Afterward, and all throughout breakfast, Byleth went over the words in her head as she tried to think of the best way to reveal to him her new identity. 

Following breakfast, Byleth threw herself into her sword training with Jeralt, allowing the rush from the clash of metal to ease whatever anxieties she’d built up overnight. So far, her father hadn’t seemed to notice any change in her behavior, so Byleth figured she was doing a decent job of keeping her nerves under control, however small they might’ve been. And her brother, who spent the rest of the morning lounging underneath a nearby tree, had given her all the space and time she needed to finally speak her truth. 

As Byleth focused her energy on her training, she found an opening in Jeralt’s stance, taking the opportunity to use her small body to duck around him and knock him off-balance. He wobbled back, brows raised in shock, and as he lowered a hand to catch himself, Byleth managed to swipe the sword out of his grasp. 

Jeralt huffed, easing himself to the grass. He let out a hearty laugh as she tossed him the sword, using his free hand to wipe the sweat from his eyes. “Keep fighting like that and you’ll surpass this old man in no time.”

Byleth let out a firm grunt, her expression serious as she began to approach him. She lowered herself to the grass beside him, and cleared her throat. 

“Something wrong, kiddo?” her father asked, propping an elbow on his knee. 

She turned to him, eyes steeled, and released a short breath. “I’m a girl.”

He blinked, clearly surprised, but there wasn’t a single indication in his gaze as it softened that he was at all upset. He smiled. “Alright, then. Do you want to talk about it?”

_What is there to talk about?_ She shook her head, hoping it would be enough to get her off the hook. Even if she _did_ want to talk about it, she wasn’t sure where to even start. “I just thought you should know.”

“Oh.” He lowered his arm, shifting to face his daughter. “Well, is there anything you’d like to change? Your name? Clothes? Do you need a haircut?”

Byleth let out a hum, thinking. She’d never considered using a different name than the one she was given, as it didn’t particularly make her feel like any more or less of a girl. And she wasn’t sure how much of a difference her clothes would really make, since all of the mercenaries in their company, regardless of whether they were men or women, seemed to dress the same. As for her hair… She glanced over at her brother, who appeared to be watching her from over the top of his book. They’d had the same exact haircut for as long as Byleth could remember, but if she cut it any shorter, she was worried she definitely wouldn’t look like a girl. 

She turned back to her father, who was patiently awaiting her response. “Nope,” she answered simply, deciding she’d take more time to become comfortable with this new identity before making any big changes. 

Jeralt let out a sigh of relief. “You children sure are low maintenance.” He raised a hand to Byleth’s back, giving it a gentle pat before he picked himself back up to his feet. “Well, if there’s anything you’d like to say or ask, don’t hesitate, okay?”

* * *

“And that was that.”

Byleth glanced up from her teacup, meeting her student’s captivated gaze. A small smile formed at the corners of her lips, the first genuine one she’d been able to muster in days. Not all of her memories hurt to look back on, and it was nice to be able to talk about them with someone else for once. 

When Byleth had finished reminiscing, Edelgard unfolded her hands and reached out across the table, resting her palm on her teacher’s wrist. “Thank you for sharing that with me. I’m sure it wasn’t easy.”

“Easy, no,” Byleth agreed. “But it wasn’t difficult, either.” 

Edelgard nodded, removing her hand. “So your brother… Was he like you?”

“In some ways.” Byleth closed her eyes, imagining the boy from her childhood tucked away in a corner with a book. “He was smart. He really liked to read, no matter what the subject was. He wasn’t nearly as interested in combat as I was, though. He was always pretty clumsy with a knife.”

“Something tells me there’s a story behind those words.”

“Quite a few, actually,” Byleth mused, shaking her head at the several incidents that flashed through her mind. She opened her eyes. “But I think that’s enough stories for tonight.”

The young house leader frowned. “I’m sorry, I hope I didn’t say something insensitive.”

Byleth gave her a reassuring smile. “Of course not. It’s just getting late, and if I’m to return to class next week, I need to be well-rested. You, too.”

Edelgard’s eyes widened. “O-oh, so you’re coming back? That’s great news!” She turned away in embarrassment, but Byleth still caught the slight hint of pink that rose to her cheeks. “I mean, I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

“Thank you, Edelgard,” Byleth told her. “For giving me the push I needed.”

She wasn’t better; at least not fully. But it had certainly helped to talk, and Edelgard had been right the other day to remind her of the more pressing matters at hand. Byleth would have time to grieve once they found and took care of the people behind her father’s death. Right now, her students needed her, and so did the church. 

They finished their tea and parted ways, Byleth returning to her room in slightly higher spirits than when she’d left that morning. It would be a lie if she said she wasn’t still hurting, but at least she didn’t feel like she had to go through it alone anymore. She changed into something more comfortable and climbed into bed, digging out Jeralt’s diary from where she’d hidden it underneath her pillow. 

_Day 2 of the Wyvern Moon. Sunny. I feel I must take the child and leave. But the church is always watching us… I don’t know what Lady Rhea has planned. I used to think the world of Lady Rhea. Now I’m terrified of her._

_Day 8 of the Wyvern Moon. More rain. I used the fire that broke out last night to fake the child’s death. Lady Rhea is in a state over the news. But I can’t change what I’ve done. I’ve got to take the child and leave…_

Byleth continued to flip through the pages, her stomach twisting as she tried to decipher the meaning behind her father’s words. Many of the accounts after Jeralt had taken Byleth away from the monastery were unimportant, mostly recounting small events as he looked after his child and took up jobs as a mercenary until he finally started his own troop. There were vague mentions of “another child” who belonged to a member of the troop, but Byleth knew better that she and Vitus were the only children among them. The more she read, the more she recognized the child’s descriptions as her brother’s, and that their father had written his existence in such a way that anyone sent from the church to retrieve it would not be able to trace the child back to him. 

When she neared the end of the diary, she came across several ridged edges where the pages had been torn out. The dates prior hadn’t indicated anything suspicious, but Jeralt was not the type of person to leave something out unless he felt it was urgent. Byleth needed to find those missing pages, and needed to see what Jeralt — and possibly Rhea — was hiding. 

_How are you going to find them?_ Sothis asked as Byleth closed the diary and stuffed it behind her head. _You’ve already searched your father’s quarters._

“Something tells me he’s hidden them somewhere not even Rhea would think to look,” Byleth responded. “So we just need to look somewhere she would never go.”

_Do you have an idea?_

Byleth hummed. “I think I need to sleep on it.”

_Very well, get some rest. But don’t wait too long! You’ve got another investigation to do, too._

“I’ve got the entire month ahead of me,” she yawned, adjusting her pillow. She laid back, turning her gaze to the ceiling, and closed her eyes. “Don’t worry, Sothis. I’ll get to the bottom of both my father’s and brother’s deaths, and I’ll put an end to the madness that’s been taking over Fódlan.”

With her mission now more clear than ever, Byleth found herself comfortably drifting off, and for the very first night since Jeralt’s death, she didn’t cry herself to sleep.


	3. "Happy"

Byleth ran her hand across the sheath in her lap, the touch of the cool leather against her fingertips filling her mind with ease. Raindrops pattered softly against the roof of the carriage, the hooves of her father’s horses clomping steadily against the rocky path.

Across from her, Vitus sat with a book pressed to his nose, his bright eyes narrowed at the pages before him. Even as the carriage shook around them, his focus did not break. His breathing was heavier than usual, as it sometimes was during particularly humid days.

“You know, you’re only going to make your vision worse if you keep squinting like that,” Byleth commented. “Then you won’t be able to read at all.”

He glanced up at her with a raised brow. “That’s why we’re going to get my eyes checked.”

“I thought that was because you kept running into doors?” she teased, her expression as stoic as always. He shook his head as he turned his gaze back to the book, ignoring her. “What are you reading, anyway?”

“I’m learning about the different kinds of herbs that are used in hormone treatments, and the effects they can have on the body.” Vitus turned his book around to the page he was reading, and pointed to a passage with a lot of big words Byleth didn’t recognize. “According to this, the type of treatment you’ll be taking will delay the increase of hormones that usually happens during puberty so your body will stay more or less the same as it is now until you’re old enough to take the stronger treatments.”

Byleth scrunched her nose. “I have no idea what any of that means…”

Her brother sighed. “You should probably be reading this. It’ll help you understand a lot of the changes that you’ll eventually be going through, and how they’ll be different from mine.”

She shrugged. “Do I really have to understand how all of that works as long as it’s working?”

“And this is why I’m keeping myself informed,” he muttered, a hint of irritation in his voice. He went back to reading, and Byleth turned back to her sword, but she couldn’t fight the strange tickle at the corners of her lips, or the fluttering feeling in her stomach. 

_What is this?_ she thought, unsheathing her sword just enough to make out her reflection in the sliver of shiny steel. Her lips were upturned, however slightly, in an expression she had only ever seen in her father and the other mercenaries before. _Is this… happy?_

The flicker of a smile faded quickly, as did the funny feeling in her stomach, but she spent the rest of the ride trying to commit them both to memory, just in case she wouldn’t soon experience them again. 

By the time they made it through the valley, the rain had stopped and the sun was high in the early afternoon sky. They arrived at a small, quaint cottage just outside the village of Remire, a large garden visible in the back. Jeralt stuck his head inside the carriage, announcing to his children that it was time to get out. 

Vitus stuck his book inside the satchel he often carried with him, and slung it around his shoulders before stumbling out of the wagon. Byleth followed behind, jumping down to the ground below with a soft thud. The trio walked up to the front and were greeted by a petite young woman with vibrant red hair and a kind smile. 

“You must be Miss Ruby,” Jeralt affirmed, extending his hand. “I’m Jeralt, and these are my children, Byleth and Vitus.”

“A pleasure to meet you.” She took his hand, giving it a firm shake. “You may call me Amelia. Iris notified me that you would be coming.” She gestured toward the door, offering them entrance. “Please, come in.”

Byleth glanced around the cottage as they stepped inside, the front room set up much like a shop with a variety of bottles and plants lining tables and shelves. A shadow passed behind a curtain that seemed to be warding off a room in the back, and Byleth couldn’t help but stare curiously.

“So what can I do for you today?” Amelia asked, drawing Byleth’s attention back to her as she walked behind a tall counter. She opened up a pad of paper and began to flip through the pages. 

Jeralt cleared his throat. “Well, originally, I only planned on bringing my daughter here to consult with you about hormone treatments.” He rested a hand on each of his children’s shoulders. “But it turns out my son may have a vision impairment, and I was told you have a doctor who may be able to help.”

She stopped flipping, letting out a quiet “aha!” as she landed on a page in the middle of the notepad. “Right, here you are.” She set it down and peered over the counter at Vitus and Byleth, offering them a warm smile. “Now, which is which?”

The twins each introduced themselves and Amelia scribbled down their names before instructing them to wait as she disappeared into the back. A moment later, she reemerged with an older man behind her. 

“This is Doctor Nicholae,” she explained, the man nodding toward them. “He will perform an eye exam on Vitus while I speak with Byleth.”

“Do you mind if I accompany you?” Jeralt asked the doctor, who gave his consent. Jeralt reminded Byleth that he would be right there if she needed him, and gave her shoulder a gentle pat before leading Vitus into the back. 

Amelia led Byleth over to a small sitting area in the center of the front room, taking a seat across from her and folding her hands in her lap. “How old are you, sweetie?”

Byleth furrowed her eyebrows, trying to remember what her father had told her before they’d left. Jeralt had never been the type to celebrate or remember birth dates, and he had admitted to both of his children that he hardly even remembered his own. All he knew was that the twins were born during sometime between 1159 and 1160. It was now, according to the calendar behind Amelia’s counter, 1168. “I’m eight,” she decided after a long pause, hoping Vitus wouldn’t give the doctor a different answer if asked. 

“Alright, so you’ve got a few years, yet, before puberty hits.” She reached for a book that was laying on a round table beside her, and opened up to a two-page spread depicting a human body through various stages of life. “Do you know what puberty is?”

“I’ve heard that word used a lot,” Byleth told her. “But I’m not sure what it means.”

She let out a gentle hum. “Well, ‘puberty’ is what we call it when our bodies start to change from a child into a young adult.” She pointed to the first picture of a child around Byleth’s age. “Right now, your body looks a bit like this. But in a few years, you will start to notice some changes. These changes are caused by what we call ‘hormones’...”

Byleth started to tune her out as she continued to reiterate many of the same things Vitus and her father had already tried to explain to her. It wasn’t that she was uninterested in the changes that her body would eventually be going through, she was just tired of hearing about them. She already knew her body was different than most girls her age, and she didn’t like being constantly reminded about it. 

For the most part, the people in their mercenary troop were accepting of Byleth and her identity, and they didn’t treat her any differently than they had before. But every once in a while, when they visited a new town or village, she would still be mistaken for the wrong kind of child, and having to correct people had become quite the exhausting task. Byleth wished she could grow up faster just so she could start taking the right kind of herbs to make her go through the right kind of changes. Then, she would have the body she desired, and no one would ever mistake her for her brother again. 

When Amelia finished speaking, she asked Byleth if she had any questions, and Byleth let out a simple sigh. “Are there any herbs that can speed up time?”

Amelia blinked, her smile slightly faltering as she processed Byleth’s words. “I—I’m sorry, they don’t quite work that way.” She closed the book and set it back on the table, leaning forward to rest a gentle hand on Byleth’s knee. “I know the wait can be difficult, but I promise you will become the person you want to be. But right now, you’re still a child, and you have so much more growing to do. Not even most little girls your age have the bodies they want.”

“But they don’t have a twin they’re constantly being confused with,” Byleth mumbled, glancing over toward the curtain. Not that she minded her brother—in fact, he was probably the only person alive who actually understood her, even more than their own father could at times. She just wanted to be seen as her own person for once, as Byleth, Jeralt’s _daughter_ , and Vitus’s _sister_. She’d thought the differences in their personalities and interests were more than enough for most people to tell them apart, but when Byleth didn’t have her sword or Vitus wasn’t reading, there really wasn’t much at all to distinguish them. 

“I have a feeling that won’t be so much of an issue anymore,” a voice said from the back, and just then, Jeralt appeared from behind the curtain. He stepped into the main room and joined Byleth and Amelia in the sitting room, taking a seat next to his daughter on the small couch. “Your brother is being fitted for a pair of glasses right now.”

He spent the next several minutes going over the details of the herbal treatments with Amelia while Byleth waited for her brother, wondering what Vitus would look like when the doctor was finished with him. Jeralt instructed Byleth to pay attention as Amelia wrote down the instructions for her treatment, and provided them with a three-month supply of concoctions. 

“I would like for you to return in three months so I can check her progress and make any necessary adjustments,” Amelia told Jeralt. “If you have any concerns with her health, please bring her back sooner. The treatment is relatively safe, but not all bodies respond in the same way. So please take caution and follow my instructions exactly as they are written.”

Jeralt thanked her and Byleth did the same, and together they waited a few more moments until Vitus finally emerged from the back. Atop his nose was a brand new pair of black, wire-framed glasses, his bright blue eyes behind the lenses wider than Byleth had seen them in ages. His expression was softer, too, as though he no longer had to struggle to make anything out from a distance. 

“I guess neither of us is leaving without a prescription,” Vitus joked in a rare show of humor. He walked over to them, peering at the bag in their father’s grasp. “Is that it?”

“It is,” Jeralt confirmed, stuffing the bag into his waist pouch. He patted both of his children gently on the back. “Are you kids ready to go?”

Byleth nodded, her gaze glued to her twin as they said one last goodbye and left the cottage. She watched as he carefully climbed into the carriage, not once picking up his book as he sat back. He didn’t seem to mind as she stared, his own expression amused as he seemed to be sharing her thoughts.

For the first time since they were born, the twins finally had a notable physical difference between them. No longer would they have to worry about walking in each other’s shadows. No longer would Byleth have to worry about being the “wrong twin”. Now, for the first time ever, Byleth felt like she was finally on the path to becoming her own person. 

“Bylie…” Vitus murmured after a while, letting out a yawn as he leaned back and closed his eyes.

She blinked at the sudden break in silence, raising an eyebrow. “Yes?”

“I’m happy for you.”

That strange warm sensation she’d felt earlier returned to her stomach, and she couldn’t help but smile. Twice in one day, and neither her brother nor father were paying close enough attention to notice. Perhaps one day she would learn to become used to the feeling. “I’m happy for you, too.”

* * *

_Happy._

That word was so foreign to her, now. 

It seemed like all Byleth was destined to feel, lately, was… well, she wasn’t even sure there was a single word that encompassed all of her negative thoughts and feelings. She was angry, and sad, and tired, and hurt, and… and all Byleth wanted was to hurt the people who had hurt her.

Was it even that long ago that she had last felt truly happy? For a while, Byleth had nearly forgotten about her brother. She had nearly forgotten about the dreariness of her life between his death and her arrival at Garreg Mach. She had smiled and laughed so much with her students, had opened herself up to all sorts of feelings she had never experienced before, and for the first time in a very, very long time, she had actually let people in. But ever since Jeralt’s death, all of those smiles, those laughs, those days of joy seemed so far behind her.

Still, she had to keep moving forward. Byleth had a new mission, now, and a whole class of students who needed her guidance. She had a journal beneath her pillow that contained the pieces of the past she had been so long denied, and it was time she started to rebuild it, to finally discover the truth behind hers and her brother’s existence. 

Byleth’s heart was heavy, as it so often was since that rainy night in the chapel ruins. But as she stepped outside of her quarters that morning, her eyes were dry and her head was clearer than it’d been in over a week. She drew in a deep breath as she glanced around the dormitory grounds, and as she let it go, she took a small step.

 _No wobbling,_ Sothis commented from the back of her mind. _That’s a good sign._

“Funny,” Byleth muttered, taking another step. She took another, and then another, until she found herself walking toward the greenhouse, passing a few wide-eyed students along the way. When she spotted Leonie standing by the pond, she froze. 

Jeralt’s former protegee was gazing into the water’s surface, her shoulders hunched and head low as she sniffled. It was no secret to anyone at the Officers Academy that Leonie had been very fond of Jeralt, and if there was anyone who understood what Byleth had been feeling over the past week, it was her. 

She waited a moment before deciding to approach Leonie, unsure of what to say, but knowing that she had to at least say something. She reached a hand out to the student, and when she made contact with her shoulder, Leonie jumped. 

“P-professor!” she stammered, wiping her eyes as she turned to face Byleth. “I…”

Byleth opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She searched Leonie’s tear-streaked face, hoping to convey her thoughts even if she couldn’t find a way to say them. 

Leonie nodded in understanding. “Captain Jeralt’s gone… He’s gone, and we’d only just reunited…” The tears started to flow once more, and she shook her head. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sure this is even harder on you. But I just can’t—I can’t believe—”

The younger woman crumpled before her, and Byleth acted on instinct, wrapping her arms around Leonie’s trembling frame. Byleth wasn’t much of a hugger, and it certainly felt strange having someone weeping into her cloak, but if she was being completely honest, she was only doing exactly what she’d wished someone had done for her that past week. How she longed to be held in her father’s arms again, to actually be able to appreciate his comfort and warmth… 

A few moments passed, and Leonie finally started to calm, lifting her head with a grateful, but crooked smile. “Thank you, Professor… I needed that.” 

“I…” Byleth swallowed, using her remaining strength to muster a smile of her own. “I needed that, too.” She lowered her arms back to her sides, and took a step back. “I’m sorry, I have an investigation to do, but if you need anything, Leonie, please don’t hesitate to ask.”

“Of course.” Her student dried her eyes again and straightened her back. “I do have a request, though, Professor. When you track down the people who did this, take me with you.”

Byleth sighed. The last thing she wanted was to drag even more students into her death mission, but she knew that Leonie was not simply asking, and that “no” would not be an acceptable answer. “I will let you know as soon as I have any information.”

Leonie thanked her before finally moving away from the pond, her shoulders no longer hunched and her gaze no longer downcast. Well, at least Byleth was able to help one of her students that morning. 

She continued toward the Dining Hall, her mind a little more at ease as she climbed the wide staircase. Although her heart remained heavy, she didn’t feel as hopeless after talking to Leonie, and for once, she didn’t feel so alone. Her students were there for her, and she would do everything she could to be there for them. She would not allow herself to lose anyone else. 

As she entered the building, she made almost immediate eye contact with Edelgard, who somehow seemed to sense her presence. The young leader smiled, and the weight on Byleth’s heart seemed to lighten. She tilted her head to the side, gesturing for Edelgard to join her at an empty table nearby. 

Her student started in her direction, taking a seat across from her. “Professor, I’m so happy to see you.” She held Byleth’s gaze for a moment, her brows furrowing the way they always did whenever Edelgard was trying to assess someone. “You’re finally returning to your old self.”

Byleth lifted a hand to the back of her head. “I’m not sure that’s entirely true, but I’m trying my best.” 

Edelgard let out a quiet hum. “You may not realize it, but to see the light in your eyes again is a gift. It inspires me to carry on as well.”

“Thank you, Edelgard.” Byleth lowered her head, hiding a small smile. “Hearing that really means a lot.”

“Of course.” She flattened her hands over the table, a sign that she was about to get more serious. “As you know, the knights are searching furiously for any trace of the enemies who escaped. I’ll inform you immediately if I learn anything relevant.”

Byleth glanced back up at her. “So the person who killed my father… she was only pretending to be the girl who disappeared last year. Does anyone know what happened to the real Monica?”

Edelgard blinked. “I, uh… no, I don’t believe so. To tell you the truth, Professor, I’m ashamed that I allowed myself to trust her so easily. I feel like I’m partially responsible for what she did to the captain…”

“Don’t.” Byleth shook her head. “There’s no way you could have known. We all fell for her act, and it’s precisely why we were unable to stop it.” _Not even turning back time could prevent the inevitable._

“Still, I should have noticed that something was off about her.” Edelgard frowned, casting her gaze away. “I’m sorry, Professor… I should be looking for a way to stop her, not worrying about things I cannot change.”

“You do not need to push yourself for my sake,” Byleth told her. “I appreciate all your help, Edelgard, but please let the knights handle this. I will be doing my own investigation, of course, but I don’t want you and the rest of the students exhausting yourselves over this.”

Edelgard stood from the table. “Forgive me if I have overstepped, my teacher, but I cannot just sit here and accept that. Your fight is my fight, and I fully intend on lending you my aid when we do find out where they’re hiding.”

Byleth’s eyes widened. “Where are you going?”

“To focus on my studies,” she stated curtly. “Is that not what you wish of me?”

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

“Whether you meant it or not, I still have work I must do.” Edelgard sighed. “I will be in the classroom if you wish to speak to me.”

She walked off, and as Byleth watched her go, that weight began to tug at her heart once more. She had thought Edelgard would be happy that she was returning to her duties, and that meant making her students’ well-being her first priority. 

_What a difficult child,_ Sothis commented, but Byleth did not respond. Instead, she walked to the front and ordered her first meal in several days. She had a long investigation ahead of her, and there was no way she would be able to focus if she didn’t quell the hunger she’d been fostering all week. She decided she would talk to Edelgard once she had made progress in her search. There would be plenty of time in the future for idle conversation.

Byleth brought her breakfast back to her table and glanced around the Dining Hall. Even at this hour, the building was already pretty lively, and despite the events that had just occurred, the atmosphere felt light. Byleth closed her eyes and took in the sounds of clinking dishes and amiable chatter. No, nothing would ever be the same again, but it didn't mean Byleth couldn't still enjoy the little moments like these, in between the seemingly endless battles and conflicts. One day, Byleth promised herself, she would rediscover what it meant to be happy. 


End file.
